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living for tomorrow|today| |
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| Apr. 16th, 2007 @ 11:00 pm Bang, Bang, You're Dead | |||
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| I spent most of the day driving and running errands with the radio tuned to the local NPR news station (WBUR), and was eerily reminded of doing very much the same thing just under seven years ago when I heard about Columbine. I was a sophomore in high school, and was running errands with my mom after school. We went to dinner at the Western Hotel, a small pub in my hometown and watched the TV there carry continued reports of the shooting in Colorado with estimates fluxuating wildly between 10 and 50 dead. No one really knew what had gone on. I ate chili in a bread bowl. A month later we had our own hit list published. Most of school didn't show up that day. I did, wandering the eerily empty hallways and school bus until I got home. No one showed up to school with a gun to revenge themselves, but they had their victory with a record number of absences. I wrote a story about it as part of my MQP in Creative Writing. Seven years later, a great deal has changed. The person I was in high school is dead. So it goes. If I were sitting in the same restaurant now, the only chili I'd eat would be vegetarian, which they don't make. I've graduated twice, leaving two institutions behind, and am about to graduate a third time. The pit in my stomach feels the same. All the emotions tied up in Columbine, our own ripples, and later performing as Josh in Bang, Bang, You're Dead came storming back into play. Anyone who happens to be reading this and have some connection to VA Tech or its populace. My thoughts are with you. tofer | |||
| Dec. 6th, 2006 @ 05:34 pm Students... | |||
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| Guess what happens if you challenge your students to find you on google. Oh wait, they find your livejournal! tofer p.s. You are both pains in my ass. | |||
| Oct. 24th, 2006 @ 06:52 pm Here goes... | |||
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Current Mood:
Seven months. I feel the need to make at least an attempt at a catch-up entry even though it couldn't do the time justice. If there's anything you'd particularly like to hear more about from my last real entry until now, leave a comment.  energeticIn seven months: I accepted Clark's offer of grad school. Turned down Lesley University's. Turned down a tech writing job offer. I moved into an apartment, the first time I've lived off-campus in five years. Started working at CVS as a pharmacy tech. Went to senior week. Graduated from college. Spoke at graduation. Had my next first day of college two days later. Became an oddity--one of four non-Clarkies in the Clark MAT program. Made some enemies. Finished my first class at Clark. Become absolutely frustrated with the Clark grad program in 25 days or less. Started going to the gym. Made a friend. Returned to Bar Harbor after a year away and almost didn't come back. Made friends with this year's JAX Crew. Felt balanced for the first time in a year. Cried uncontrollably leaving the island. Almost left my grad program. Bought $150 in beer (19 varieties, 90 or so bottles). Worked with seventh graders and fell in love with all of them at UPCS. Made more friends at Clark and decided to stay in the program--at least for the time being. Went back to Bar Harbor for the close of this year's program. Watched the goodbyes again and was reminded of how wonderful it really was. Started my third through seventh grad courses and had my first day of ninth grade...again. Been blown away by my students, their strength, their abilities, their successes, their failures. Started playing guitar. Watched my cousin get married. Saw my family--my whole family--for the first time in more than 10 years. Argued with a guidance counselor about school policy. Went dancing at RIC and see my awesome dancing friends and meet new awesome dancing friends. Got Ophelia back. Saw Schook and Gretchen for Gretchen's birthday (tried a chipotle beer, an excellent ale, and a fabulous schwarzbier). New: 30. Try a new food. 19. Make a friend. 28. Get inspired. And I found a quote on a new friend's profile that made me look back on this and write again: Je veux vivre chaque seconde comme si demain etait la fin du monde (I used a translation site to discover this as: I want to live every second as if tomorrow were the end of the world). Fitting considering what I use this journal for. It's funny, I meet someone, entirely happenstance, look at their facebook profile and find a quote in French that I can't understand, my not-speaking of French is a bit of a barrier. Being the nosy me, I search for the quote and find as much as it's from a French band, in their song "Chaque Seconde." The lyrics sites are all in French! I finally type it into a translat-o-site and it spits out the very philosophy I aspire to live by. Rock on fates. So thank you Rose, for inadvertantly inspiring me. And it wasn't my last. -tofer ( p.s. here's the deal, and my list again (20 March, 2006. ) | |||
| Oct. 24th, 2006 @ 02:22 pm | |||
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| Nine months... enough time for a baby to be conceived and born--enough time start writing here again? maybe. On later detailed examination and research, researchers employed by Tofer discovered that it is indeed only 7 months from April to November. Tofer himself was amazed at the discovery, naming the day in honor of the missing months, Majujuauseoc Day. | |||
| Apr. 1st, 2006 @ 11:58 pm | |||
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| 22. Make time for a few good friends. 7. Write a Song, story or poem. 14. Dance passionately. Friday. Friday was the first of many (hopefully) drinking lunches (a la Jon Abad era). I went to the Sole with Peter Kay, and met others there including Jocelyn Lally and Laura Amodeo. They have great lunch specials (only $9), and good beer on tap, so I made a day of it. We'll be going back to the Sole this Friday for drinking lunch number two. If you're a senior or like a good time, come by. Shoot me an email so I can know how many to expect. We aim to be there for about noon. Later in the day, I finished my piece for the flash fiction contest. I'll post it later. Friday evening, a bunch of us went down to Johnson and Wales (Providence) for a social dance. I had a great deal of fun including doing a lot of toferizing Foxtrot, Rumba and Cha Cha Cha (call it corrupting, experimenting, what you will; I call it toferizing). Afterwards we took a detour to Coffee and Cream and got some breakfast. All in all a very good day/night. And it wasn't my last. Tofer | |||
| Mar. 31st, 2006 @ 06:27 pm | |||
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| 28. Get inspired. Thursday. My coursework over the last two terms ties together fairly well (half of it related). Last term I took Public Health Engineering, where we talked a great deal about environmental hazards (especially those inflicted on the environment by humans), and their impact on human health). I also started my grad course, Topics in Sustainability, which has been focused on various aspects of sustainability as related to development (from population density and education to natural resources and the oceans). This term, I'm finishing it up, and taking International Environmental Policy, where we're focusing on global problems, and then on global solutions. I guess this connection makes a great deal of sense as a Civil Engineer focusing his studies on Urban and Environmental Planning. This term the connections hit me more immediately because I've got Policy from 2-4 on Mondays and Thursdays, and Sustainability from 4-6 on Thursdays. The last two weeks, the topics of conversation have tremendously overlapped, and last week's classes coincided with me reading last week's Time magazine (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/arti As an example: Why is it so hard to get a college campus of engineers--students who theoretically understand the process and importance of recycling--to make an effort to recycle? Granted, the school has no recycling program, but why isn't there an actual outcry on campus? GAEA and Justice from time to time have come forward and raised their fists, but a few angry students should be only representative of a larger angry campus, and it's not. Why, when there are club sponsored recycling boxes placed in the Civil Engineering lounge, do students STILL throw recyclables away? And it's not limited to the depositables. Why isn't it worth our while to recycle our glass bottles and jars, when we understand how energy intensive it is to create new glass? On a wider scale, what does it take to get people to buy into concepts that could save their lives or world? Education is only part of the answer, and its frustrating to know that it isn't a larger influence in people's lives. In his writing, Daniel Quinn speaks of Mother Culture (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_triba After four hours of Environmental thought growing in my head, I went and revised a piece I wrote earlier this year to give it a more urgent message. And it wasn't my last. tofer | |||
| Mar. 30th, 2006 @ 06:22 pm | |||
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| New: 29. Fall in love. Exactly why I need to write these earlier... Will edit this later. Tofer | |||
| Mar. 29th, 2006 @ 02:32 am | |||
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| New: 28. Get inspired. 27. Escape. 16. Talk to someone I miss. 7 Write a song/story/poem. Tuesday. On Tuesday, I made an hour for myself to sit by the fountain and write--this was additionally significant, because all I had wanted to do for the previous week was sit out on the picnic tables that they hadn't put out yet, and Monday was the first day I had really been able to sit out there at all. I used Tuesday and my fountain time to work on my new writing as well as take a look at a biology curriculum I started writing Monday night. It's based on a systems approach to biology, and incorporating modern biology into a high school curriculum. What's being taught at the high school level is more or less obsolete, or becoming rapidly obsolete. There's a lot of interdisciplinary work that needs to go on there. So, my hour of fountain time was spent writing and escaping from my hyper-scheduled life. That night I picked up the conversation with Kim that I had started a week before. We talked about architecture and urban planning like true dorks, and about what goes on at our separate schools. Some time soon we're going to meet up-which will be fantastic. And it wasn't my last. Tofer | |||
| Mar. 28th, 2006 @ 12:48 am | |||
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| Adding: 25. Do something for no other purpose than to enjoy life or increase my sanity. 26. Commune with nature. 27. Escape. 12. Make someone's day. 7. Write a song/story/poem. 25. Do something for no other purpose than to enjoy life or increase my sanity. Monday was the first day I've woken up and been ready to face the day in a long time. Maybe that was because at 8:30 my alarm coincided with my eyes opening and it was sunny out. Or maybe it was because it was the first day this term where I was able to get up at 8:30 without feeling guilty about missing a class. You see, I dropped my 8:00 class on Friday, but didn't feel the effect until Monday. It was wonderful. As described in an earlier entry, my days were beginning to look something like this: 6:30 Alarm goes off--I plan to get up to shower and eat breakfast. 7:30 Alarm goes off again. I have to run to get to class. 8:00 I sit in a Chem Eng. Class that is uninteresting and unengaging. It's taught at a level I passed several years ago in biology, and the professor has gotten stuck with one of the deadest groups of students I've seen here (even at 8:00 am). 9:00 Grab a bagel and do some work 10:00 Rehab engineering. ----other stuff---- 11:00 PM - 1:00 AM Return to my room and start doing homework/getting cooled down from the day. 3:00 AM, sleep. Without the class, (which I don't need to graduate) the following happens: I don't have to pay a $300 overload fee; I can turn 3-4 hours of sleep a night into 5-7 hours of sleep a night (acceptable). I don't have to do work for the class, and I'm now only taking a normal course load. My realization came last week after a session at West Street House (the student development and counseling center), where I was agitated and really twitchy, which doesn't really work for me. I later worked on both pieces I started writing last week. In 12 days or so of this new Tofer Zeitgeist, I've filled 11 pages of my writing journal. That's almost equal to the 12 pages of writing I completed in, oh the last three months. I'm turning the poem I started into a slam piece. I think it's got some good dramatic potential trapped in its lines. The piece about walking I'm going to be converting into something for an on-campus flash fiction competition. It's got a great feel, and has been a lot of fun to work with, and will do nicely. Much later in the evening, I turned into masseur Tofer and made some of my girls downstairs fall asleep/worked out knots. I also braided Lauren's hair and showed it off. It was overall a good night. And it wasn't my last. tofer | |||
| Mar. 27th, 2006 @ 01:11 pm | |||
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| New: 24. Stand up and fight for something in which you believe. I went to DAKA on Sunday evening. I had just gotten out of a rehearsal for Hunted and was getting ready to buckle down for a night of studying. In DAKA I got my usual two grilled cheese sandwiches and tried to find other food to eat. The meal started out with my grilled cheese getting soaked in the bacon grease on the griddle. Normally, I can ignore whatever meatness is on the griddle because I can't see any direct contamination. Plus, Nicole usually ends up washing the griddle right before I get there, and Nicole and Earl both typically take reasonable care to use a different spatula for the meats and non-meats at the grill. So, I started with a bacon soaked pair of sandwiches I knew I wouldn't eat and went to get some other foods. I went to sit with my friend Rachel and kind of chill. There were three freshmen I didn't know at the table. They were having a conversation about the inherent stupidity of people--concentrating on how people who were not intelligent enough to comprehend that which they were capable of understanding were lesser people, and that lower categories should be sterilized. I asked them if they understood the inherent flaw in their plan--their own ignorance and superiority-complexes. They were in general disgruntled and couldn't come up with any response. At WPI, I've seen the arrogance that can walk hand-in-hand with high intelligence for four years--many students here actively look down on people who either aren't as intelligent, or do work that doesn't require the same level of mental exercise. In my opinion, this arrogence makes one not only ignorant, but weak. Ignoring the full spectrum of a life to focus on a single trait is tragic. We should all take pride in our strengths, and not be embarrassed to take pride in them, but treating other humans as less for their differences is wrong. Here I made three enemies--no one likes being called out in front of their friends--but got three people to think about their own thoughts and the way they were expressing them. And it wasn't my last. Tofer | |||
| Mar. 26th, 2006 @ 01:31 am Saturday | |||
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| A new one: 23. Capture an audience. 23. Capture an audience; 14. Dance Passionately; 1. See a concert. I decided sometime last week to compete at Holy Cross. Sure, I hadn't competed in ballroom in a year (since last year's Holy Cross Comp) and since I became Silver, but I gave it a shot because I could dance Bronze. A ballroom dance competition works something like this: competitors are divided into different levels based on their 'skill'. In the ballroom world there are two ways to measure this: based on the time that you have been competing, or based on how well you do in competitions. In terms of the time that I have been competing, I'm considered a silver level dancer; in terms of how I've done, I'm considered a bronze level dancer. Most competitions in the area judge level based on timed experience, so being able to compete at a lower level is unusual for me. At the competition, competitors go out on to the floor in groups of about 20 couples (heats). In this particular competition, the newcomer and bronze levels each had three heats per dance (in American style: Foxtrot, Waltz, Tango, Rumba, Cha Cha Cha, Swing), or about 60 couples. To make it to the next round of dancing, you need to get called back by a certain number of the judges. Last year, I was competitive in the bronze level--at any given competition, I was placing within the top 7 couples in most dances. At this year's competition, I didn't get a single mark--that means that not a single judge thought my dancing was suitable to be called back for, which surprised me. At competitions, they also typically do a fun dance (or several), where competitors can dance outside the norm. I excel at these, because I have few limitations on what I'm willing to do to capture the hearts and souls of the judges and the audience. For example--the last time I won a fun dance at Holy Cross, I stripped to the Hokey Pokey. This fun dance was no exception. Gen and I made a pact to compete in the fun dance--and did it with passion and style.  We opened the dance with an impassioned Paso Doble (think Spanish Bullfighter Dance), and were the first to be selected to continue onward. We continued with a fantastic Texas Two-Step, where I opened by sliding on my knees to reach Gen, and then into a ravishing polka including a Death Drop (a dip all the way to the ground and back up) that almost killed Gen. Finally we hustled like no one else, and fought to get the crowd to cheer for us. 218 (our number) echoed from every corner and the balcony. It was fabulous. We came in second, but were the crowd favorite, and had a blast.  Later that night I went to A Cappella-Fest XII (Stu-Man Group). We had a bunch of groups perform, three from campus and two from off, and it was an overall wonderful show. And it wasn't my last. Tofer | |||
| Mar. 26th, 2006 @ 12:05 am | |||
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| Adding to the list: 21. Win. 22. Make time for a few good friends. 14. Dance Passionately; 21. Win. 22. Make time for a few good friends. Yesterday I had an interview with Sterling Commerce in Tewksbury, MA. Not a bad interview; or company for that matter--but more than likely I will not be ending up there. I doubt they will offer me a high enough salary to make me forgo my scholareship to Clark next year for grad school. So, before I was picked up for the interview, I checked my WPI mail and learned that I had been selected to speak at commencement. This was thrilling, and fantastic. Seven of us auditioned for the speech--we had to write the speech for the beginning of the week and audition on Tuesday. Three (Mike Bertini, Gissel Morales and Dan Martel) were selected for the Baccalaureate ceremony and I was selected for commencement. Just makes it one thought closer. Last week I also purchased my cap and gown--one more symbol of impending leavetakings. Later that night was a Casino Rueda/Discofox lesson in Riley Commons sponsored by Girls' Night Out (GNO). I had a great time dancing and got some fantastic Disofoxing in with Steph Legare. Afterwards I headed over to the B for a few minutes to hang out and have a drink with Bertini, Topher, Marcella and Juliet (Marcella's sister). It was nice to be able to relax and talk over a Wachusett Blueberry Ale (with blueberries) while we have a break heading towards commencement. Mike isn't sure what he's doing next year yet, Marc is going to be in Framingham (likely), and Topher will be at Sikorsky. And this phase of our lives will be over. And it wasn't my last. Tofer | |||
| Mar. 25th, 2006 @ 12:01 am | |||
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| 7. Write a Song, story or poem. Last D-term, I worked on finishing my story for my MQP (think Senior Thesis) outside the campus center on a picnic table in the sun. One afternoon, two girls were sitting at the table next to mine people-watching. Eventually they made a game out of mimicking the walkers--copying their walking style and mannerisms. I wrote some random notes about the scene down because it was interesting and write-worthy. Last night, I took the notes and began turning them into some kind of story. I'm not sure where it will go yet, or how long it will be, but it's something. And it wasn't my last day. Tofer | |||
| Mar. 24th, 2006 @ 11:46 pm | |||
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| Adding another: 20. Have an eye-opening experience. For part of my Rehabilitation Engineering class, we had to go through one of the buildings in a wheelchair. Here is a narrative detailing my experiences. The last time I was in a wheelchair, my dad tilted me backwards and pushed me down the halls at speeds fast enough to tell my five-year-old brain I was flying. I was visiting my grandmother in her nursing home. We’d go two or three times each week; the wheelchairs were always my favorite part of the visits—they let me feel free. My experiences today were the opposite. My tour of Higgins Laboratories in a wheelchair was not only frustrating, but made me feel trapped within the confines of its metal frame. My experiences during my tour are recorded here from my first perceptions of the wheelchair, through the halls, doors and elevators of Higgins Laboratories and its surroundings, and back to the Rehabilitation Laboratory. The Rehabilitation Laboratory I entered the laboratory with my personal care assistant (PCA), Peter Kay. Of the available wheelchairs, I selected a wheelchair with two armrests, no footrests and requiring the use of both arms for movement. Sitting in the wheelchair, I learned two things: the world looks different from four feet above the floor than it does from six feet up, and a wheelchair (I’m assuming factory-made rather than custom-designed) isn’t designed for a person 76” tall and 340 lbs. To avoid using my feet in any manner I had to lift my legs for the duration of the tour, and my arms were too high to comfortably make use of the armrests when I was at rest. Finding a comfortable way to secure my backpack was my first challenge. I have a messenger-style bag, which I initially placed over my shoulder, planning to wear it as I normally would, but around the back of the wheelchair. Not only was this uncomfortable, but it was nearly impossible to get paper and a pen out, and I had to ask my PCA for help getting the bag untangled. After writing the note, I repositioned the bag across my lap. Since it was nearly empty, this was feasible, and mostly comfortable, but for a larger and heavier bag, this would not have been prudent. Once my bag was in place, and my note written I began the tour. My first motion-based challenge was figuring out how to maneuver the wheelchair. Moving and turning was reasonable enough, but getting through doors—even the open ones required a higher level of control than I had. In the mailroom, I didn’t have any real trouble reaching the mailbox. It was just out of comfortable reach for me, but well within my range. Similarly, I didn’t have any great trouble using the copier. I could see the controls from my seated position and could easily reach the paper input points. If I had a shorter torso, I would have been less able to see what I was doing in the copy room; and a reduced effective reach would have caused me greater trouble in performing each function. It wasn’t until I returned as an able-bodied individual, that I noticed instructions on the copier on top of one of the paper-feeds. If I hadn’t already known how to use one, I would have been unable to see the instructions because of my reduced height, and therefore unable to use the copier. Total time spent between the mailroom and copier room was 6 minutes. Making it to the bathroom on the ground level was my first long stretch of movement. During this time, I experimented with different methods of propelling myself. I learned that the most efficient way for me to move forward was to use only the base of my palm in contact with the wheel and to push down. This seemed to minimize the amount of fatigue later in the tour and helped create a casual motion comfortable for me to continue doing. Opening the door to the bathroom required a great deal more care than I ever thought it would. I had to concentrate on moving forward, while at the same time pushing the door wide enough for me to get through, and avoid spinning the wheelchair (because I was using only one hand to move forward. This experience was frustrating to me because I couldn’t perform a simple task, and wanted to be able to get into the bathroom without the help of my PCA. Once in the bathroom, the first problem I had was with traction. The tile floor was slippery, and my wheels spun more freely than they had on carpets. Within the stall, I worked out what looked like the best way to make the transfer with my PCA: pulling parallel to the toilet, and using the armrests and handicap bars to lift myself out of the chair and onto the toilet. Washing my hands was uncomfortable. I had problems getting close enough to the sink to use it effectively, and after washing, had to wheel myself closer to the paper towels before drying my hands. This struck me as excessively unsanitary, as did the idea of transferring to the wheelchair before washing my hands after using the toilet. Tidying my hair was not a problem. My total time in transit and in the bathroom was 5 minutes. I went back down the elevator and outside Higgins Laboratories in the wheelchair. The electronic doors were annoying in the wheelchair. I got impatient waiting for them to open, and on my way back in, one of them closed on me. While I was grateful for the independence of not having to maneuver and open simultaneously, I was frustrated my having to wait for a slow system to work. On the sidewalk outside, I found I had trouble moving. The wheelchair kept moving in ways I didn’t want it to. I think this was due to uneven traction between the two wheels on the concrete. Moving down the ramp was fun. I applied my hands to the wheels to keep them from sending me flying down the ramp and hurting myself. Coming back up the ramp was a great deal of work. I tried two methods of forcing my way up the hill: using one wheel at a time, and using both wheels at the same time to power myself forward. I noticed it was more effective and less tiring to use both wheels and take longer ‘strokes’ to move forward. Total time spent in transit and on the ramp was 11 minutes. After returning the wheelchair to the rehabilitation lab, I completed the tour as an able-bodied individual. All the tasks I had difficulty completing, I was able to do without a problem as an able-bodied individual. Where the total time of the tour in a wheelchair was 33 minutes, walking, the tour took only 11 minutes. The greatest thing I learned from this experience was how unprepared our campus is to accommodate individuals of different ability levels, even in modern buildings. As a Civil Engineer, and Urban Planner, these experiences can be used when designing projects. Rather than look at the specific ADA standards, and use only the minimum in designing, it is important to pay attention to the whole site, and different aspects of it that make it more suitable for universal use. And it wasn't my last. Tofer | |||
| Mar. 23rd, 2006 @ 01:09 am | |||
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| 15. Teach something to someone. Yesterday was about teaching--today was about learning. I tutor at WPI Writing Center, and every D-term we get new tutors-in-training. I had two sessions yesterday where I did tutoring sessions with soon to be tutors. In the second one I tutored a student who brought in some of his creative pieces. He aspires to be a novelist, writes cleanly and with great passion. We talked about the craft, writing, revising and publishing; two growing novelists under the ceiling of WPI and the conversation was open. I taught with my experiences in writing; my transition to a revising writer and my explorations into commercial writing. The conversations and lessons resonated with me long after the session was complete. Two days in a row revolve around writing. That's enough for tonight. And it wasn't my last. Tofer | |||
| Mar. 22nd, 2006 @ 07:34 am | |||
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| 7. Write a song, story or poem. I have a feeling this will end up here a great deal. Especially on days when I haven't done anything to make the day especially memorable and it's time for bed. Like yesterday. Like today. This serves a purpose, even though to me it feels a little like a cop-out. I have some issues inspiring myself to write--which sucks as a writer. Sure I jot plots on napkins and such, and sure I have ideas running through my head, and sure I feel better when I've been writing--but there's a disconnect somewhere. You'd think that being better when I'm actively writing would inspire more active writing. One of the writer's neuroses I so lovingly exhibit, I suppose. Yesterday was rough in general--I'm learning to hate Mondays. I woke up at 7, had class at 8, then at 10, then tutored at 11, had class from 2-4 an event from 4-5 and finally class from 6-9 and a staff meeting at 10. Considering I had work to do afterwards, and I needed to get up at 7 this morning that didn't go so well. The poetry I wrote isn't good. But it's a fair topic, and its better parts can be manipulated and expanded into something great when I revise it. But I did it. I wrote a poem. And it wasn't my last day. Tofer | |||
| Mar. 20th, 2006 @ 11:54 pm Background... Day one... | |||
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| I added an item to my list. 19. Make a friend. So backstory... Friday I was walking across the quad. Jem's "24" came on my shuffle and made me think. ( Been given 24 hours to tie up loose ends; to make amends. His eyes said it all; I started to fall and the silence deafened. Head spinning round; no time to sit down; just wanted to run and run and run. Be careful they say; don't wish life away; now I've one day ) If I were to die tomorrow--would what I think of my last day on earth? Would I be satisfied with what went on the day before? Could I honestly say that my last day had been worth living? I wake up each day and just want to get back into bed. On most recent days, I've gone to bed at about three and gotten up at seven. I go to a class that's barely interesting and learn about what could be interesting biology in a language that is convoluted and so utterly forced through engineering terms that it becomes dreadfully dull. I sit through between one and six hours of classes that vary in interest. I eat food that I more often than not, can't stand--so opt for the all-healthy grill cheese, and I get tired all the time. I love my friends; I love aspects of my life, but what am I going to school for? I get a piece of paper that says I can go to school next year too. I can use the same paper to get myself a career and a day job. If one day a week, I do something that makes a day worth being my last, I'm lucky. I think we could all be that lucky. So, why not spend my days doing things that I would be happy with as a final salute. It seems kind of a mix between music and movies and life that's really turning my mood this way. So here's my try--may it be the best thing I've ever done for myself. Day one. Monday 16. Talk to someone I miss. I worked on doing this two-fold. I talked with my friend Erica online, whom I hadn't talked with in a long time. We caught up a little bit, but really didn't get a chance to chat for long. I also contacted a friend of mine from high school--Kim. I went to her junior prom with her (when I was a senior), and I haven't really talked to her for more than a random word here and there since I graduated. I always liked Kim--she had a good heart and was a lot of fun to be around--and I always wished I was better friends with her in high school--you miss out on a lot when you really meet someone your senior year. | |||
| Mar. 20th, 2006 @ 12:50 am My list. | |||
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Current Mood:
I decided friday that no day was worth living, unless I could be happy with it being my last. I will go into it in much greater detail at a later date--as I need to do work and I've already procrastinated by changing my layout and fooling around on facebook. calmCurrent Music: Jem, 24 What I will go into is what purpose my writing here will serve. I will try to use this as a record of why each day is worthy. Working towards this, I've started to establish a list of things that, to me, make a day worth being my last day living. So far, I have this: 1. Save a life. 2. Go snorkeling or SCUBA diving. 3. See a concert. 4. Kiss a girl. 5. Fly a plane. 6. Drive my dream car. 7. Write a song, story or poem. 8. Eat something extraordinary. 9. Visit someone I love. 10. Eat a fresh cookie. 11. Cook something ingenious. 12. Make someone's day. 13. Go somewhere new. 14. Dance passionately. 15. Teach something important to someone. 16. Talk to someone I miss. 17. Ask someone out. 18. Have meaningful sex. I'm going to be adding to the list more as I go; feel free to comment with any suggestions. My goal is to never have a day where part of this list doesn't happen. | |||
| Mar. 12th, 2006 @ 04:34 pm quiz | |||
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 What Planet Are You From? this quiz was made by The Autist Formerly Known As Tim | |||